The Feeling Session

Without digging through your past to find out why. Without breathing techniques or positive thinking. And without waiting for anyone else to change first.

If you just tried one of our short practices, and something in your chest moved, even a little, you have already met what this book is about.

Maybe it was the first quiet minute you’d had in days. Maybe the weight was still there, but for a moment it stopped pushing you around.

Here is what almost nobody is told. The heaviness you carry is not your past. It is not your parents. It is not your bad luck. It is something much simpler than that, and it needs only one thing from you, which you have probably never given it.

You may have tried to think your way out. You read, you listened, you talked it through. You understood everything with your head. And the same weight is still there, in the same place, at the same hour of the night.

That is not because you did it wrong. Understanding happens in the head. Letting go happens in the body. Nobody ever showed you the second part.

Who we are, and where this came from

We are Rytis and Violeta, a married couple from Lithuania.

Ten years ago, people who met Rytis saw a happy, free young man. Inside he was shut down, anxious, and carrying more than he could name. For years he ate six or seven times a day, big portions of everything. Only much later, when he began to lie down and feel, did he discover how much rage that food had been holding down. He had no idea it was there.

The way through came in a small village in Bali, where he spent a long time alone. He lay down. He covered his eyes. He laid his hands down, palms toward the floor. And he did not let his body move. Then he watched what rose.

Violeta knows it from her own bed. When Rytis left for Lithuania without her, the story started at once: “We built everything together, and now he went off without me.” She could have called him. Instead she lay there and put all of her attention on the pressure in her chest. Every time the story pulled at her, she came back to the chest. The story never got its fuel.

For seven years we have led this live, in person and online. Today fifty to a hundred people join each session, lying down wherever they are with their eyes covered. People who had never done anything like this, and people who had tried everything. We are not therapists, and this is not therapy. We help people stop running from what they feel, for a few minutes at a time.

So we wrote it down

The Feeling Session is everything we have learned in those sessions. We wrote it the way we speak in a session, simply, so you can read it in an evening and come back to it for years.

It is very simple. It is not easy, at first. And for many people it changes how they live.

What you’ll find inside

The method

• Why the same feeling follows you from one partner, one boss, one city to the next. It is not punishment, and it is not bad luck. It is the body knocking on the same door. (Part One)
• The one second with spilled coffee that shows you the difference between a feeling and a story, so you can tell them apart in your own kitchen. (Part One)
• The voice in your head that speaks in your own voice, and is not you. What we call it in our sessions, and why you don’t have to silence it. (Part One)
• The whole Feeling Session in ten steps, the exact form we use with fifty to a hundred people at a time. You can do it on your bedroom floor tonight. (Part Two)
• Why palms down. One small detail that tells the body there is nothing to grab. (Part Two)
• The trap almost everyone falls into on the first night, and why it quietly turns feeling into pushing. (Part Two)
• Why deep breathing can become one more pacifier, and what we do with the breath instead. (Part Two)
• A two-minute practice for the middle of a bad day, even if the only quiet place is a bathroom at work. (Part Two)
• The one sentence to say when your hand reaches for the phone, the fridge or the glass. You don’t have to win every time. (Part Two)

Your quiet voice, and the people in your life

• How to tell the mind’s voice from the heart’s voice in a real moment, with four signs we have learned to trust. (Part Three)
• Why the people closest to you know exactly which button to press, and why that is good news. (Part Four)
• The “magic question” Violeta asks people who are stuck in a relationship. Don’t answer it with your mind. (Part Four)
• Why you can be fifty years old and still become a small child in your mother’s kitchen, and the sentence that ends the old contract. (Part Four)

The heavy feelings, and the bad day

• What to say to guilt when it knocks like a kid selling cookies. (Part Five)
• How to feel your anger all the way without slamming a single door. (Part Five)
• What to do with grief that has no timeline. We won’t give you one. (Part Five)
• The eight steps for the bad day: the message has arrived, the fight has happened, or you wake at three in the morning and want to run. (Part Six)
• What to do if you lie down and feel nothing at all. (Questions people ask us)
• The Feeling Session on one page, to keep by your bed. (Keep this close)

What you get

• The Feeling Session by Rytis & Violeta, an ebook (PDF).
• Nearly 80 pages, with 9 illustrations and our photos.
• Six short parts, a letter from us, and a one-page practice to keep close.
• Sent to your email right away. Yours to keep.
• $17, one payment. Nothing renews.

Is it for you?

It is for you if you carry a heaviness that rest doesn’t reach. If the same feeling keeps coming back, whatever you change around it. If you have read the books and still feel stuck. If you want something you can do alone, at home, tonight, without an app or a teacher.

It is not for you if you are looking for a diagnosis, or for something to replace your doctor or therapist. Keep that care. The book is for self-reflection, alongside it. It is also not for you if you want a quick technique to make feelings disappear. This book asks you to do the opposite.

Our 60-day guarantee

Read it. Lie down with it, once or a few times. If the book isn’t what you hoped for, for any reason, email us at help@thebirthletter.com within 60 days of your purchase, and you get a full refund.

We can say it this plainly because we have watched this simple thing work, session after session, for seven years.

Questions people ask us

Is this therapy? No. We are not therapists, and this is not therapy. The book is for self-reflection. It isn’t medical or psychological care. If you are seeing a doctor or a therapist, keep going.

I tried meditation and my mind never stopped. Is this the same? No. There is nothing to empty, count or picture. You don’t need to silence the mind. Nobody can. You put your attention on the place in your body that presses most, and the mind gets less to feed on.

Is it religious? It isn’t a religion. Sometimes we use the word God, and some people say life, the universe, the wisdom of the body. The word doesn’t matter. Nothing in the book asks you to give up your faith or take on a new one. You don’t have to believe a word of it. Try it on your own body.

Will it make my anxiety go away? We can’t promise that, and we won’t. What we can tell you is what we see: it works best when you stop trying to make the feeling go away. You feel it to meet it, not to get rid of it.

What if it’s too much? You are always in charge. You can stop at any time, open your eyes, sit up, feel your feet on the floor. If you have lived through something very heavy, the book shows you how to go in small doses, a few minutes at a time.

What if I lie down and feel nothing? Then you feel the nothing. Numbness is a feeling too. The book shows you where to look.

How do I get it? Tap the button and you go to our secure checkout. It is run by The Birth Letter, our project. The book is sent to your email right away, as a PDF you can read on your phone or computer.

The crossroads

Picture the next time it comes. A message lights up your phone, or someone says the thing they always say, and the weight lands in your chest before you know it.

This time you know where to look. You go to the bedroom, or close your eyes right where you are. You find the place that presses. You stay with it, a little longer than feels comfortable. You don’t send the message yet. First the feeling, then the decision.

You can keep doing what you have done for years: reach for the phone, the fridge, the next task, and carry it into tomorrow. Or you can spend one evening with this book and learn the one thing nobody ever taught you.

It is $17, once. You have 60 days to decide if it was worth it.

With love, Rytis & Violeta

P.S. If you only take one thing from this page, take this: the heaviness you carry needs to be felt, not figured out. The book shows you how, step by step, in one evening. And if it isn’t what you hoped for, you have 60 days to ask for a full refund.